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Some Afternoon Ramblings from Kendra..

Monday, December 21, 2009
It's been a long time since I've written a "personal" post. I suppose it's time for that..

Wow. Today officially marks 6 weeks on the road. Can that be possible? We left Key West only two short weeks ago but there's been so much to take in since then that it seems like an entirely different time in my life. Every day seems to bring new and sometimes drastically different places, people, cultures, weather. The atosphere changes almost daily, save the recent consistency of the faithful Wal-Mart parking lots! There's been so much to absorb, so much to see, so much to sort through in my own my and heart. The moments of panic associated with wondering what the heck I'm going to do when this trip is over are beginning to slow down. It's becoming more and more natural every day to be doing this. I never imagined it would be so easy to sleep in a car in a parking lot, ask for mugs of hot water at fast food restaurants to make coffee in the morning, go days without a shower and feel beautiful. Had anyone told me this would be so natural I wouldn't have believed them, but it is. Even my aching knees after a night of being scrunched up in the car can't take away from the greatness of this.

But I've realized some things as the trip has progressed.
--In and of itself this trip has purpose: purpose for me to spend some pent-up adventurous energy while seeing and experiencing my own country; purpose for taking the time to really step back and look at my life and encounter myself as I struggle to sort through what I've been through, what it's been for, and how it's supposed to feed, fit into, or spur onward the next phase of my life. For these reasons this trip is necessary. The more I see, the further West we go, the more ground we cover, the less confined I feel. Slowly but surely I sense these feelings of being stuck, limited and restless leaving me. I'm seeing all these places, meeting all these people who are all living life in such radically different ways, and it's making me breathe a bit easier as I realize that somewhere out there, out here, there is a place for me. There's a whole lot of space out here, a whole lot of country.. the possibilities and the opportunities are really limitless, especially here in America. This country that once disgusted me is beginning to give me a lot of hope. There's so much more to see and I intend to see as much as I can in the next couple months, but when it's over I think I'll be ready to find a place and find a purpose beyond myself. I wasn't ready to do that before, and I'm still not. But if I'm reading myself and these experiences correctly, eventually I'm going to figure some of this stuff out, and eventually this restlessness is going dissipate, and when it does, I'm going to find something worth living for and just go for it. Whether it makes sense or not.
--I love being a part of a church body. It's been really incredible (Morning Star) and interesting at times (thank you, Christ Church, Rockport, haha!) experiencing other churches, but I miss having a church that I can be a part of and invest in and serve.
--It's really too bad no one has found a way to make a collapsable, portable, non-electric piano. I could really use one of those on this trip.
--I have truly incredible friends and family, for which I would be a fool to be too far away for far too long.
--The mountains, the rivers, and the dense forests know a part of me that the ocean, the cities, the vast lands do not. Ideally, I will live very close to a mountain range and every weekend I will grab someone I love and go hiking until every muscle in our bodies ache and our stomachs moan.
--I LOVE GRITS!! I almost can't even believe it myself, but I bought my first container of Quakers this morning!
--Running really does keep me sane.
--I Love Reading Maps!!
--Dandylion is one truly special friend..

There's really nothing quite like Callin' It Life.
*sigh*

1 comments to Some Afternoon Ramblings from Kendra..:

Above all else: Love said...

there is nothing more I can write than I love you, miss you & can you stop by Nashville in January? Please!!

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